My dad worked out, 2 hours a day, taught and worked at the YMCA in NJ. He dated 40 year olds, because he looked so young, and was in such great shape. He had had some stomach pain a few weeks earlier, but all of his very extensive tests were normal, so he came down to NC to us then we drove to Mt. Bea. He had put on some weight, unlike him, but only in his belly. He had also had a sore on his lip--I remember, because I didn't kiss him.

Anyway, he went to the beach with my brother and his girlfriend. I came a few days later. When I got there, his hands and feet were red and swollen-purplish!

I asked why? He said that he didn't know. He had ALWAYS worn socks, sweat pants, and a t-shirt. He said he guesses it had possibly sunned through his socks. I know this sounds weird, but he had varicose vein extraction, they told him 14 years ago , not to let sun on his legs or feet again.

He acted sluggish and tired the whole time he was there. Not normal!! He even forgot my birthday-first time EVER.

The morning he was to wake me, because I was to leave 2 days before them, he didn't. I woke up late and he heard me and yelled for me-I ran into the room and he couldn't get out of bed. He had had extreme shaking chills all night, so bad he almost shook off the bed!! I took his temp it was 103. I gave him asprin, and later a Tylenol pm. the fever went away and he felt better. Later that day, I left, and left my brother with tons of instructions, and daddy with promises to me not to be stubborn.

At 7 pm, he asked my brother to take him to the hospital. He had a reddish sunburn look all over himself. My dad is an extremely dark Italian, never burned. They took blood tests, urine and chest -x-rays. his blood had high granulcotes, in the 90's high white cell count, barely, low platelets. His urine had some mucus, and protein, it was amber. Late that night there were other very SUBTLE things wrong. NO TEMP, though X-rays showed crackles in lower left lung. They sent him home with asprin and a diagnosis for sunstroke vs virus, and told him to come back if symptoms worsened. His dictations read, all labs read as normal. Which all of their expert witnesses agree to, because they are so mild. This is our biggest problem. Along with the statement from my dad of -no fever, although 2 people told the triage nurses differently. They say the family statements mean nothing.

Later the doctor admitted that he was in a left shift, PROBABLY on that night.

At 3 am my dad woke my brother up, with his pacing in the hotel. They took him back at 5 am. The only notes that the the nurse wrote were, here 11 hours earlier, back this time for shoulder pain. He was in extreme shoulder pain.

Within 8 minutes, actually documented, the doctor made the diagnosis of Bursitus. Yet without trauma, and never having it before, sent him home with too much Demerol, No anti-inflamatories. Later the doctor stated it was because he was in so much pain!! After 40 minutes he was still in the ER, my brother and his girlfriend snuck back to him. They found him in so much pain that he had to be propped up in every way with towels-BY THE TWO OF THEM. He started throwing up and the nurse told them to get a pail for him. Finally the nurse came back. Daddy had never removed his pants, the doctor never saw the swelling in his legs.

When the nurse came back, she asked, "what is wrong with your feet?" Daddy said, "I don't know, I guess it's from the sun." He couldn't even wear shoes they were too tight, he wore flip flops.

No blood was taken, no ekg, no urine, no x-rays. Only the notes, Tests read as normal 11 hours earlier. His temp. was begriming to drop then, but again only slightly. Daddy had never taken clothes off for any type of possible puncture wound.

The Demerol knocked him out for 10 hours, the day we were to leave, daddy got Bruce up and begged him to take him to UNC, he was to drop him off at my place on the way, and I was to take him. Daddy screamed in pain for 4 hours in the car to UNC.He refused to be dropped off, even though they drove right past my house.

At UNC, it took them 1/2 hour to get him into a wheel chair and out of the car. They took every test known. He was in toxic shock, and in a 5 organ failure. He was admitted immediately. Four hours later they found strep in the blood, 8 hours later strep G.

At 12 pm daddy went into cardiac arrest in front of me in the resp. icu. I was ushered out and told he would die. The family came back. ICU, let us sit by his side for 3 days straight waiting for him to die. He almost died every day for 3 weeks. In the first 2 days there, lesions of cellulitus came up on his legs, burst, and spread up and down all of his extremities. We started wrapping him in sylvadine cream.

Later, I was teaching the new nurses how to burn his bleeding veins,and clean and wrap him. He lost all of his organ function. Dopemine and libofed kept his heart pumping and 100% oxygen was on the respirator. He gained 79 lbs in fluid.14 iv's.

Eventually his hands and feet turned dry black with no skin left. Later if he survived, all to be amputated. Eventually his strep a healed remarkably.

Every day I reminded him that he couldn't die without giving me a birthday present, he owed me! I wanted to tell him I loved him, and for him to tell me. I had a huge argument with the doctor about taking him off the respirator, I couldn't do it. I never knew his wishes--we had all of this discussion in front of him.

Amazingly, sixty days later, he regained consciousness. It was a long slow climb. But eventually he came back with his outrageous personality.

Busting in on the nurses, laughing, eating, and exercising. He had gone through so much pain and was still in pain. Without his hands functioning he couldn't write, the trach tube was still in so we had to read lips. I got pretty good.

The trach was being used 4 hours a day. He was to be off in 3 days. We spent Thanksgiving together, just the two of us. Everyone took a break but me. 74 days later. We spent the day in his bed laughing, he told me exactly what a parent can only feel. " I love you kids more then anything in this world." I told him that I loved him so much, and "thank you for the birthday present." We both just cried holding each other. He knew that everyone was coming back the next day, and we worked on surprising everyone with his being in the chair.

The next day, the doctors and nurses who had grown to love him, joined me in presenting daddy, incredibly motivated and strong, to my mom, her husband, and my brother and his girlfriend.It was a great day.

That night at 2 am, 76 days later, the phone rang. I knew this time it was real, 25 others never seemed real. This one was. I went into his room 8 doctors and nurses surrounded him. They sent me out. I said NO WAY. I was alone, although my brother was on his way, mom said call back if its bad. I stayed out of their way and watched the doctors try to plug the burst vein in his throat, with their ungloved hands. They kept pulling up pieces of deteriorated lung tissue, Obviously as bad inside, as it had been outside.

I watched the pressure drop to nothing- they called me over. I MADE THEM PROMISE THAT HE WOULD NEVER DIE ALONE. HE DIDNT.

He died in my arms. Everyone in that room lost it too. Bruce got there a bit too late, and mommy was there after I finally called her. The next day the doctor took a leave of absence, as did 5 nurses. This was the kind of effect my father left on people. Everyone was devastated.

If there was ever anything that came out of this that is consoling for not only me, but hopefully others who have been in a similar position, it is this: on one of the days I was talking with him, I said "Daddy, you almost died. He said, "I did, and it was beautiful." I asked him if he could hear us when we talked to him over the past months, he said --"I heard every single word you said. I even heard the music you played me. The bitching you did the prayers you prayed." I let him go to Heaven that night, because I was told it was beautiful, by him. Daddy never lied. We can only feel good about them being there, as much as we wish they were still here.